My karma ran over my dogma...

"she plunged my butt!"

2005-11-01T17:25:00.000-08:00

cast of characters:

french plumber
super sexy corpse bride
genie
sally from nightmare before christmas
a southern belle
something funky with horns

so we had fun trick or treating but not as fun as b4 its def. getting old u know? but i got tons of candy so it was great!

THE SHINING YAY i wanna see it again now!

daddy-o

2005-10-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

haha this is my daddy when he was in college isnt that the most hysterical pic u've ever seen? knowing my dad, that is...

why is everything about me in my mind?

2005-10-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

sry i havent posted in a while, just been really lazy...

not much new news in my life, just soccer... which i'm not going to blabber on about anymore!

dont u wish you could go up to random people and be like, "be my friend"!? that would make life so much greater. or, "tell me why you feel bad and ill make it better." like, wouldnt that be so great if people actually told u stuff, and then u could make it better? but then if they were someone that u didnt really wanna talk to then it would suck. because i find myself telling stuff to people that i dont really want to tell, i know that i dont want them to know certain things but i tell them anyway and fuck everything up.

so... why is everything about me in my mind? i watched this awesome movie called What the bleep do we know? about how nothing is real only what we perceive it is... it was amazing...anyway...

so i was bored so i added a pic from montana... we camped in a copse of trees right in front of me and i skinny dipped in that freezing freezing lake it was like jumping in ice and then i climbed that mountain, i just decided to climb it. i didnt get to the very top, thats way too steep i would fall over. its a HELL of a lot taller than it looks, from halfway up i couldnt even see our tents, next to where I'm standing in the pic. so i got nervous and decided to come down. also i was barefoot and i was getting rlly steep and there was nettles.

oo this is fun im gonna put another pic on!

yay canada max I LOVE YOU!

4th year trip... happy days!

the people we went hiking w/ in Montana, except for the old guy in the front. the guy molly's sitting on is hot! he lives in canada and plays soccer!...but REALLY bad pic of me dont look at that

fuck

2005-10-10T19:55:00.000-07:00

so my parents have lauched an exciting new initiative (that's a direct quote) to fine me money everytime i cuss. Here's a list of words i suddenly cant use:
fuck
shit
goddamn
ass
hell
freak
frik
fudge
crap

here are the words that are acceptable:
darn
drat
shoot
nuts
oops
o dear
dear me

i mean what the fucking bloody hell? i started crying and laughing hysterically and had to go downstairs.

Coffee makes synagogue so much more fun…

2005-10-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

So I was being all Jewish this weekend. We went to Shabbat dinner with friends and burnt off all the calories playing with the daughter Shifra who we call Shoeface, long story. Anyway, we spent the time running around and throwing like fifty pairs of underwear on the fan and then they would fly off when we turned it on and we’d run around trying to catch them. So that was cool.

The next morning we stayed at synagogue the whole friggin time, which hardly ever happens. We came early at 9 for the rabbi’s class and then services until 1. But it was our turn to do the Oneg so we had to prepare all the food and stuff and wait till people were gone and clean up and then go home. So it was pretty tiring and annoying, except for there was this guy…

He just kinda popped out of nowhere I saw him last week for the first time, and like talked to him a little. He’s hot in a kind of Jewish/Middle-eastern-ish way, and it was really great because he kept looking at me… Molly was tormenting him and tying his shoelaces together and stealing his kipah and pulling his tie and stuff and I just kept like catching his eye and laughing. Except we didn’t really talk much so I don’t know his name or how old he is, and I didn’t want to be like, umm… what’s your name? I do know he goes to East and has a brother in 8th grade. I think he’s a little older than me but I hope not too much cuz that would suck I’d have to tell him how old I was and then he’d be like, umm never mind.

Keep ya’ll updated on my ‘nice Jewish boy’ (who are his people?) haha get it? exept for I'll see him next on Yom Kippur at Kol Nidre on Wed. and that kinda sux cuz it's Yom Kippur and all serious and important and fasting and wear white and shit, so i have to be really demure and not wear anything remotely tight. Superjew people don't wear makeup or contacts or stuff and i think the Orthodox prolly do other stuff like that, but screw it...

2005-10-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

so... although I've definately told all of you except maybe lena cuz i havent had time to respond to our great long email running thing BUT i am going to type it again because it's so exciting. : ) yay

ok so we'd driven up to the coast (we were playing Coastal Crew) and that's like a 3 hour long drive and really stressful because we have to beat everyone in our division to move up to first division and we have and should beat everybody except the Wilson team and when we play them that's going to be reallyreallyreally stressful but ANYWAY...
so it was at the very end of the second half w/ maybe ten min. left, and this girl (#99) was trying to get the ball past and she was like pulling and grabbing at me so i got mad and pulled on her jersey. It was right in front of the other team's parents and she turned around and punched me in the face. so i slapped her and we started to like, fight, and it was SO fun... *giggle*...
so then she kicked me and the ref pulled us apart and gave her a red card and send her off the field. and then he gave me a yellow card. the parents were like three feet away, and like freaking out at me and yelling really nasty things at me and the ref and i know it was stupid but i cracked up and kinda chuckled a little... and then the parents REALLY freaked out at me and it was funny cuz, i mean, they were adults acting like little kids. anyway, my coach took me out, just to be safe and there was only like 10 min. left. then we scored three more goals in the last five min. and won 6-1 and life is good and my coach called me Rocky... : )

hey there lover

2005-09-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

jeramie's mascara dries on her eyelashes, i want that kind! and then it's all hard and stays on.

ben is my twin...

i hear the school bus outside heehee stupid public schools

...and that is my life.

grr headache stupid kids

2005-09-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

ive got a mindblock from the foundations essay im trying to type grrr. it's molly's bday party and ive been running around all day first getting everything ready and then slaving away to the whims of a bunch of 11 year olds (no, i want VANILLA ice cream, not mint chocolate chip!)

anyway, i have a headache from them running around screaming and trying to write my essay isnt working. jesus, who knew m's friends were that crazy? i certainly didn't. i guess we're crazy too but at least my friends dont run around and jump up and down and scream at the top of their lungs for five hours, we just dont have the energy.

but life is good which makes me happy...
i've been happier then usual, that makes me happy too....

:-D

Rainbow

2005-09-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHAT GUYS? I DID A RAINBOW!!! and i was just like fooling around, and i was like OMG and started freaking out it was great. and then i scored on Pete (who's a keeper) with the outside of my left foot so i was like this is a good practice and then petey told us that we were playing worse than ever even worse then when we played Triange United... so my bubble was popped. o well.

But my good old bubble is back again now cuz i realized that tomorrow is the LAST DAY OF QUAKERISM AND ETHICS AND THAT ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yipee

petey

2005-09-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

Pete's little kids were at practice today: there was like a three year old and five or six year old and the little one's name was Griffin and he kept wandering around kicking a soccer ball bigger than his head and he was SO CUTE and Pete was being really mean to him. He was like, I want my mommy... and Pete said, I want your mommy too....to come and take you home. it was so sad! and he was playing with the older boy whose name i forgot and pete kept telling him to share the soccer ball. And then Pete was trying to yell at us and Griffin started tugging on his hand and then slid his hands up pete's shorts is was so funny and they were SO FRIGGIN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but Pete was really mean to them....

ugh

2005-08-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

life sucks. school pisses me off. get lost.

so soccer's been crap, i played goalie for 20 minutes one game cuz our goalie wasnt there and we took turns. i punted it!! then i scored but it was so hot and i was like 'yay omg i scored!!! ...shit im gonna puke... what the hell, i just scored!!! ...shit im gonna puke...'

but lately, its so hot, i just feel like shit when i play, especially the second half, but theres not much choice, u just hope u dont puke and keep on playing... it sucks...

...LIKE MY LIFE!!!!

fuck global warming

2005-08-25T00:50:00.000-07:00

so i decided to see whether i could live without puttting every single little fucking detail of my life. actually i was just super super lazy.

so i went to the virginia beach tournament and it was 110 degree heat index. so they shortened the games but my crazy asshole nutball coach (actually i love him to death) put us in the Premiere division. which should mean something to most of u. that's what the NAVY team is MOVING UP to. so i was like what the fucking hell? so we played a team of assholes from canada, the best team in virginia, and the top beach futbol club team. the first two killed us and the last we should have at least tied but they beat us by one. it was really funny cuz before the game pete was like, i know the coach he's my friend and i want to beat his ass. of couse then we didnt.
but i swear, i've never been so desperatly tired, EVER. it was the craziest thing ive done. except of course jumping off that cliff in canada.... but anyway.
and then i never even got to see max even tho we were in the same goddamn tournament.
pete says 'tournament' like 'twarnament' its rlly funny.

and then i've had practice every single night since except for yesterday that was my day off. then i have 2 games this weekend and a labor day tournament and then the season starts.

BUT, i so so so cannot wait for the spring season, cuz ill only have school team!!!!!!!!! and i can hang out w/ yall every single day to make up for the five years ive spent ditching you for soccer. so hang out with me alot alot alot ok?

the tan from canada that made me look mexican is almost gone and im so pissed...

bad ass blueberries

2005-08-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

i mowed the lawn in my bikini, then went and picked blueberries with it on too. I think i'm becoming a nudist.
wouldnt that rock tho?

Stoney End

2005-08-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

I was born from love
and my poor mother worked the mines
i was raised on the good book jesus till i read between the lines
now i don't believe
i want to see the morning

going down the stoney end
i never wanted to go
down the stoney end
mama let me start all over
cradle me, mama, cradle me again

i can still remember him with love light in his eyes
but the light flickered out and parted
as the sun began to rise
now i don't believe
i want to see the morning

going down the stoney end
i never wanted to go
down the stoney end
mama let me start all over
cradle me, mama, cradle me again

never mind the forecast
'cause the sky has lost control
'cause the furry and the broken thunders
come to match my raging soul
now i don't believei want to see the morning

going down the stoney end
i never wanted to go
down the stoney end
mama let me start all over
cradle me, mama, cradle me again
going down the stoney end...

sung by diana ross, i love that song its so sad but so good...
i was listening to it in the car after soccer

And then i flashed some old men...

2005-08-11T07:40:00.000-07:00

Soccer camp:not worth mentioning or complaining about. Not too bad i guess but still...

MADDY'S LAKEHOUSE ROCKED!!!!!

In addition to being with my favorite people in the whole wide world, i had a great time tubing and waterskiing and just swimming! the water was SO warm, compared to Canada, it was like amazing. And of course watching movies and skinnydipping... I'm very proud that we finally did what we'd planned to and didn't freak out at the last moment, although max wouldnt go in the woods and maddy freaked as soon as we sneaked out of the house and got off the deck into the woods. Admittedly, it was one or two a.m. and we had just watched a scary movie, but still. We made it! it was the awesomest thing ever, the water was still warm and we kept giggling and then shushing ourselves cuz we were afraid the parents would wake up and hear us... maddy's mom would kill her many times over... along with us... yea. It was the funniest thing ever when i was climbing down the ladder, morrah was like, 'ruthie, are you naked?!?!?' in the greatest voice! the stars were amazing.

The second time was the next day, in broad daylight! we'd kayaked/swam/dragged in a tube by ME in the kayak/paddled a windsurfer surfboard over to a cove. me and morrah and max decided to take off our bathing suits! we were doing mermaid dives (like butt up in the air) when these old guys in a motorboat went past, close, so we did some more dives and jumped up and down and stuff. We got kinda creeped out when they turned around and came back, so we put our bikinis back on!

Happy days!

anyway, almost schooltime! who else is thinking, 'shit shit shit'? yea. CALL ME! i would put my # here but my mom would freak out, she thinks its bad enough i have a blog for evil killers to chase me down and rape me.

Don't Pee on your feet

2005-08-05T00:34:00.000-07:00

CANADA

Max’s family’s house on Lake Joseph in Canada is so awesome that you can only really get there by boat. You’d park the car at the Foote’s bay, and then take the boat out to the house. They had the coolest boat ever, with yellow stripes and padded seats up at the front. When the boat zipped along, the prow rose up really high, with you sitting in it. My god that boat could move! It was like a car on the highway, maybe faster, and when you were riding in it the wind really whipped you around. I loved that boat, especially when we took it on long trips to one port or the other.
The whole place was great, especially cuz nobody would wear shoes- we’d just run around barefoot outside and inside and on the boat, etc. When we went to Port Sanfield to get frozen yogurt (really yum canadian smoothie ice creamy stuff), we’d just walk around on the pavement barefoot too. It felt really nice to run up the stone steps from the boathouse to the house without shoes.
Their house was pretty big, but it had that homey cottage-y feeling, maybe cuz it was made of wood. It had a great big screen porch looking over Lake Joe with two hammocks. Later, when Max’s cousins came, we all brought out our iPods and iTrip transmitter thingies and played music on the radio while we were hanging out.
Basically, we just hung out on the dock in our bathing suits, reading and making anklety bracelety things and jumping in the lake and swimming around when we got hot. They had a one person kayak and I just took it out when I felt like it! Then we’d do something like go to a port somewhere or swim out to the point or whatever people felt like doing.
The second day, we hooked up the two tubes to the neighbor’s boat. The lake was super choppy and he drove the boat really fast, so Max and I bounced around, flying off the tube and whiplashing and jerking our necks. I held on for dear life but fell off a lot anyway. We were sore for days after! Later, we got another ride (smooth lake and wimply pace) from Max’s uncle and it was really nice : )
The day or so before I left, I went waterskiing for the first time, and it rocked!! Not to BOAST or anything, but I stood up the first time and only fell off once. I was really proud. It was really freaky cuz it went fast and I’d never done anything like it before.
The next door neighbors were kinda crazy. They invited us to go jump off some rocks with them, and I foolishly agreed. ‘the rocks’ turned out to be a thirty foot cliff that the kids were running and jumping off like it was nothing. So I climbed up and watched a bunch of people jumping off. Eventually, I just thought, what the hell, so after a few false starts I just jumped. I was falling through the air, I was terrified, my eyes were bulging, and I must have looked pretty damn scared. And then I hit the water. It was NOT fun, so I didn’t do it again. I was really proud of Max cuz she was the only one not to do it.
The night before I left, we were about to go to bed when the Northern Lights were spotted so we all trooped down to the dock. The lights looked like foggy greenish rays coming from the horizon. The stars were amazingly clear, so we ended up laying on our backs watching shooting starts until the cold drove us back to bed.
The next morning I went to the airport, and after my flight was cancelled, rescheduled, and cancelled again, I ended up going back to the lakehouse for the evening. The next morning I woke up at 4:45 to get to the airport, and the flight was fine.
Thank you Max I love you!

MONTANA

Damn horse shit: my first impression of Montana. The hike up was pretty miserable, considering I had no sleep, a forty pound pack, and jelly muscles from being lazy in Canada. But hey! Things looked up the next day. We moved our campsite the next morning to a beautiful copse of trees in a meadow near a huge rocky face of a mountain with a lake at the foot of it.

I’d forgotten how good it feels to climb up high and look down from way up there on the mountain. We did quite a bit of hiking for those five days, and it rocked! Great huge hulking mountains with rock cliffs and yum! I did enough bushwhacking mountain climbing to last me a good while. Everytime I say a cliff face or reachable peak I scampered up like a mountain goat. My madcap adventures did get a bit dangerous, especially when I climbed an almost vertical slope that had small, loose rocks covering the surface. Thank god for trees, otherwise I would have slipped all the way down and broken my neck. There were so many ice cold mountain streams, we wouldn’t even bother to filter the water, we’d just fill up our bottles straight from the trickling waterfall. There were so many lakes, and at the end I finally got brave enough to jump in one. As soon as I jumped in it was like a blow to my chest, I could hardly breathe and I half-paniced. That’s how cold it was! But it felt so good when I popped out and put my clothes on, my skin tingled for minutes afterward.

The group we camped and hiked with was my family, my dad’s friends Jim and Fran, two nice college people, and another family, Lisa and Michael with a 16 year old son Josh, who lived in Canada, a few hours from where I stayed with Max. It was really cool to talk to them because they had done the same thing as us two years ago, in Australia. Patsy invites a philosopher/professor every two years and Lisa was invited before us. So she brought her family and lived in the same town as us and taught the same class at the same uni, etc. etc. So they’d been to some of the same places and stuff too. To top it off, Josh was a soccer player, and Jewish. Plus we both hiked fast so we talked a lot and he was really cool.

In the field, there were little ground squirrels that lived in holes and would pop out like prarie dogs, in addition to running around our campsite and pilfering things. But they were so cute! As a group we saw: a ton of ground squirrels, two marmots, three weasel-y things, a group of ten mountain goats, deer that were totally unafraid and wandered around the camp and licked molly’s hand, and some pika. Once, I went out a ways to pee and right after I finished, I noticed a huge deer with antlers ambling about fifteen feet away, who promptly stopped and started to pee, right after me! It was pretty damn hysterical.

At the end of our trip, we hiked down and stayed with a friend. We had a great feast after all those dried foods, weak noodles, mosquitoes and flies, plus we made a bonfire, but then had to say bye to everyone the next day. Me and molly and Fran did basket weaving before we left- I put sage on the rim and hope it smells good. We made a date in January to do lots of basketweaving and natural dyeing and I'm REALLY exited. I wish I could rock climb and hike mountains and write and camp in the awesome hammock tent in the beautiful wilderness much more often! Still, it feels good to shower and get back to civilization and poop in a toilet.

Then weekend soccer camp and then Maddy's and I'm home free! (sort of)

The Okeydokey hokey pokey

2005-07-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

Highlights of our lovely family vacation:

I had a blast traipsing around on the beach, pretending that my underwear is really the bottoms to my bathing suit: see, I left the bottoms at Max’s, so I decided to just wear undies instead and no one will notice, RIGHT? The first pair was a pretty green, until it got wet, which promptly rendered it incredibly see through. Thank god for my body board, which served as a rather large loincloth type thing when I got out of the water. The next day I tried out my “pretty undies” you know, the vic.’s s. ones, black with the flower in the front that I'm sure most of you have seen? Anyway, they totally didn’t match but at least they weren’t see-through! The definite downside was that they were made to be undies, not bikini bottoms, so every time I jumped out of the water (like to go over a wave or just for fun), they would slide down against the force of the water… so I'm sure many innocent beachgoers got an unneeded glimpse of my butt crack…

Then there was the whole ‘sunset walk’ deal, which Mol and I spend running around like maniacs, chasing ghost crabs. Now any of you who has ever tried that, you know that they run like hell and zig and zag all the time, plus blend in almost perfectly to the sand and disappear into their little holey-things. But then Mo discovered that they got confused in our footsteps, so in addition to lurching about like drunk ppl, we slid like baseball players trying to catch up with the crab , or buddy-doo-da, as we called them (Oh look, what a cute buddy-doo-da! or, Hey, here’s a big buddy-doo-da!). It was great amazingly fun fun, and I was covered in sand from head to toe afterwards. But I did manage to catch a bunch of them, and they were very sweet buddy-doo-das.

After getting out of the surf, I watched Surfer Dude and his brother Boogie Boy for a while, in order to avoid the sight of my sister attempting to tan, rolling up her tankini, etc. But then I got bored and decided to dig a nice big hole to sit in. Molly helped me, and it ended up being about as tall as my boobs when I stood up in the bottom and about that wide. Of course, as soon as we finished it was time to go, so I decided to make some use of our labor by seeing if I could jump all the way over it. While my mom covered her eyes and my sister moaned about how I was ruining it, I leapt over completely, only skimming of a section of the wall. O joy! So I did it a bunch more. The hole was still there the next time we went to the beach!

And then of course there was the whole great experience of body boarding, or as we call it, boogie boarding. I polished up my skills on my faithful board that also doubles as a sled but still works. I'm definitely the best in the family if I do say so myself (heehee) but mo and mama are good to so we’d boogie board for hours. And life is really happy cuz my hair is short enough not to be a nuisance and in the way like before. YAY!

When we visited the hemp store, I bought a pot-flavored lollipop. Apparently, hemp and marijuana are VERY closely related, both under the species name ‘cannabis’. So in addition to some hemp and beads, I tasted my ‘weed juice, 100% legal, made with real cannabis’ pop. It tasted kinda funny but it was good!

During a sunset kayak, Mol and I gathered a posse of hermit crabs to explore the kayak while we (I) paddled. However, only two came out of their shells, the biggest and the smallest. Huge Hermie was named Snood, and Tiny Hermie was named Smooches (the rest we kerplunked). While watched the hermies crawl around, we took great pleasure in cracking yo mamma jokes:
Me: Shut yo mouth
Mo: Shut YO mouth
Me: Yo mamma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!
Mo: Yo mamma so fat, all the relatives are on her side!
Me: Yo daddy so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
Mo: Yo mamma so fat, when she wore a red dress everyone thought she was a fire truck!
…Etc.etc….
Then we went to the midnight Harry Potter party but it kinda sucked. It woulda been really cool but it was just little(ish) kids.

The next day kayaking, we did a really long and hard one! We gathered together a family of hermies. Smooches was amazingly still there the next morning, but I think I mislaid her somewhere halfway there. In addition, we aquired: Wilma (aka Creamers), Freda (aka Frederick), Ingrid, and Callette. They were all very small and scuttly and would crawl around on your hand. I think they were all siblings, but I was never quite sure what Molly decided as to their relatedness… Anyway, there was also Guggy, Froogers, Tiny (the hugest one- it was humongo and hairy), Mugwumph, Big Bum (aka Big Bird, Big Bud), Googly, Prettyful, and a bajillion others! On the way back, Mol found the teeniest one ever, the size of my thumbnail! So I named it Smooches Jr. in loving memory of Smooches.
I decided I want a kayak for my 16th birthday instead of a car! (providing I can drive the family cars, that is!)

Then back from Ocracoke and on to Canada I go!

Darlin', darlin', stand... by me

2005-07-09T15:18:00.000-07:00

Song stuck in my head- someone needs to burn me that song! (max?)

News flash: Maddy is now Madagascar! (like I am Rutabaga, or Rupert)

SO here is my lovely schedule regarding the events of the next month-ish:
Tomorrow I leave to go to the beach- good old Okey-dokey (Okracoke)
We arrive back at home late a week later and leave for Canada at 7 the next morning; when, let the record show, I will fly all by myself to Chicago and then Toronto!
After 10 days learning how to waterski and getting major wedgies when i fall, (or so I've heard), reading a million books, and playing the game of my heart, wicked words of course, I fly (again alone) to Montana where I spend a week camping and hiking near Missoula with my delightful family (ahem).
We reluctantly depart from the beautiful mountains (I hope) and fly back home, where I head out to my soccer team camp in Fayetteville for the weekend, and play soccer 24/7.
After returning home Sunday night, I will (hopefully) depart for Maddy's lakehouse for 3 or 4 days!
After that I'm home free (mostly) so call me when I get back from everything!

Chapter 24: In Which Hair is Cut

2005-07-07T12:12:00.000-07:00

Mother and daughter snip off locks as onlookers gasp!

Before...

After!

Before...

After!

And last but not least, my personal favorite pic...

YAY! I'm ready for the beach!

A feeling

2005-07-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

Left out

Thanks for telling me.
You forgot?
Didn’t care.
That hurts.

I'm sorry! Puppy eyes.
Hug.
Simper.
Turn away.

Be careful.
You’re treading on thin ice.

Why didn’t you tell me?

What? Oh. Shrug.

Silence.
Don’t push.

What?
Oh, so it’s me now?
I know it’s my fault.
It always is.
If I had done that, or this…

Listen to me.
I know I'm always busy.
I know sometimes I put soccer, or sleep, or whatever else I’ve planned over time with you.
I know I'm arrogant, overly eager, annoying.

But still won’t you trust me, confide in me?

I get your message.
I'm not wanted.
I don’t want to hear more.

Face on the pillow.
God you freak, stop way overreacting and get the fuck over it!

But why, then does the doubt keep surfacing?
And do I really want to know?
No, don't answer.

Stupid stupid quiz

2005-06-27T16:14:00.000-07:00

this is for me, not for u, so don't read it. Just skip this and read the entry b4 it.

1. First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Allen. That was the year I broke the pencil sharpener- LONG story
2. Last person you kissed: uhh what kind?
3. Last word you said: "sure whatever"
4. Last song you sang: That Don't Impress Me Much (see previous entry)
5. Last person you hugged: oh god I have no idea! Maybe Maddy? wow
6. Last thing you laughed at: Finding Shania Twain and Britany Spears in a 17- yr-old guy's mp3 player and singing to it
8. What's in your CD player: um...International Folk Songs for Solo Singers- Soprano ( it has my song on it)
9. What socks are you wearing: none
10. What's under your bed: a futon and some spiderwebs and probably a few lost odds and ends
12. Current taste: what a stupid question. what is that supposed to mean?
13. Current hair style: a bun that fell to past my neck
14. Current clothes: soccer shirt and stretchy jean shorts
15. Current Job: BABYSITTING! did twice today
16. Current longing: skinnydipping!
17. Current desktop picture: a pic of the awesome hotel we stayed at for my godmother's wedding
18. Current worry: forgetting to take the spanish test and not getting into the class
19. Current hate: being lonely and a leper a soccer
20. Story behind your username: what?
21. Current favorite article of clothing: MY NEON GREEN AWESOME BRA!!!!!!!!!!!!
23. Last CD that you bought: wow, um, i have no idea...last cd i got was a burned 70's mix from henry...
26. Time you wake up in the morning: this morning, 8:30ish, last morning, 5:30 ahhhhhh
27. If you could play a new instrument, what would it be? violin
30. Favorite books:I'm reading Earth, my dad's sci-fi book
34. One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Will
35: Favorite day: Thursday
36: Where do you want to go: every continent in the world, and maybe live in Australia for a while
37. What is your career going to be: no friggin idea. something that is fun to me but i make lotsa dough
39. What kind of car will you have: a Prius or some small, zippy car
40. A random lyric: you're hell on wheels in a black dress
41. Eye Color: stupid friggin brown
42. Hair Color:stupid friggin brown
43. Righty or Lefty: righty
44. Innie or Outtie: Innie
45. Your middle name: Weston i guess?
46. The shoes you wore today: sneaks
47. Your hair: frizzy, needs to get chopped off really short
48. Your weakness: self pity, being mad
50. Your most recent secret? obviously is not going to be told
51. Your thoughts first waking up: shit, i have to go babysit (also the first word spoken: shit)
52. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: mouth/ chin/ hair
53. Your bedtime: none
54. Your most missed companion: why on earth would i say?
56. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: def. both
58. Dogs or Cats: cats
59. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: YUM tea!
60. Chocolate or vanilla: both, depedning on my mood
62. Smoke: nope...
63. Curse: yea probably too much
64. Sing: of course- stupid but i love it
65. Take a shower everyday: def. not
66. Have a crush: not really
67. Think you've been in love: def. not
68. Want to go to college: yeah, but spend a year WWOOFing (Willing workers on organic farms)
69. Want more than what you've got: course who doesnt?
70. Want to get married: well, i wanna have a partner...
71. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yep
73. Think you?re a health freak: yea:)
.74. Get along with your parents: mostly
75. Play an instrument: my voice?
76. Drink: tea yay!
78. Done a drug: course not stupid im a friggin good girl
81. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: now what do u think?
84. Made homemade cookies: yes, v. v. good
86. Dyed your hair: nuh uh
89. Been caught cheating: no
93. Cried at something beautiful: yea!
94. Spent too much money on something you didn't need:duh
95. Cried when someone died: no
96. Been so angry you cried: yes
97. Lied for attention: um, yeah
98. My name is: Rumplestiltskin
99: Love is: prob. doesnt exist
2. If I could see one person right now: everyone!

Richmond and Sutton or however u spell his name

2005-06-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

The bus ride to and from Richmond the first day was a living hell. Imagine yourself in the most socially awkward position, with a bored seat mate who then sits w/ someone else on the way back, and multiply by six hours. On the way back, we shared the bus with the U12 or U13 boys. Need I say more.
The trip the next morning at least didn't send me into internal hysterics, probably cuz I got up and 5:30 am, decided to screw avoiding being a social leper, so I got my own 2 seats and slept most of the way. Plus we shared the bus with the U17 boys, who seemed to be a quiet lot.
Five minutes away from the fields, I realized that this was the team Sutton (HOTHOTHOT) was on, and that he was sitting in the back.
Then we lost 5-2. The boys hadn't finished their game yet, so we watched their game to see them lose by one point and Sutton get a red card. It was crazy- our team was a lot more physical then he was. But anyway, the Spanish people behind us muttered, "polito loco" which, according to Shea, means 'crazy chicken.' Which I am assuming was a comment directed at the ref.
ANYWAY, the ride back was bearable because people actually decided to talk to me. Then this guy gets up to go to the bathroom at the back of the bus (don't ask) and I steal his MP3 player. (He happened to be the best-looking of the lot, other then possibly Sutton). He's got all this super-cussing rap wierd stuff, and I nudge Frank (Frances but don't call her that) and say,
"That would be so funny if he has, like, Britany Spears on here"
and he looks at us and goes, "um....", takes his thing back and flips thru the songs.
We spend a good few minutes singing 'Toxic' and then the bus stops for a pit stop (a bunch of girls really had to go but refused to use the bus bathroom). Me and Frank had a blast walking around singing "That don't Impress Me Much' by Shania Twain, and it was so cool!
Then I spent a while listening to his other songs, and decide I like some of Dispatch, whoever they are. Could someone please lend me a CD of them if they have one (hint Joe? possibly). Meanwhile, he's listening to my iPod, moaning and droning Hilary Duff, Gwen Stefani, Britany SPears, etc. loudly until we have to trade again because the rest of the bus can't stand it any more. It turns out that he is going to Elon University next year (where my dad teaches). Isn't that wierd?
Oh, and I ask Sutton about US gossip:
Him: Um, you go to my school, right?
Me: Yeah...
Him: So you mean who I hooked up with?
Well, I went out with Hannah Gordan for a while...
Me: Eww, Spencer!
Him: Yea, she was different when I went out with her.
I haven't been interested in girls here for a while...
Are you excited about coming to US?
Me: Sort of...
end of convo.
he was boring. Plus I would have so totally fallen in love w/ the other guy exept i forgot his name and he was 17. But whatever.
Anyway, I miss ya'll!
call me 401 4150

fit

2005-06-21T18:25:00.000-07:00

People think I'm crazy for running voluntarily, and I don't have a good comeback or reason why exactly, other then the vague, 'well, I need to be fit for soccer..." but now I think i have the answer!

Yesterday at practice we did fitness, at the Duke football stadium (humongus and scary big). After running and doing ladders and wall sits and pushups and stuff (don't ask me why you need arm strength for soccer), we ran up and down the stairs of half the stadium! Sprint, jog, hit every step, then lunges, then over again. And you know what? I FELT GREAT! It was the best feeling in the world, like the primal sense of survival. Everyone's calves were shaking, and i was standing there looking way down at the track, thinking, "my god, i could run down there and do a mile, right now!"

Not like anyone cares at all, but I need to explain why I run, just for moments like that and for myself, plus it feels great! I want to go back on my own and do that by myself later! OK now I really am nuts...

Hey, grapefruit scent on women makes them seem about six years younger to men... hmmm...

Anyway, on another note, weaving camp is looking up! We finally started to weave after a day and a half of setting up and stringing the looms, etc. It's FUN!! (go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/31737469@N00/sets/484704/ )

Guess what color my uniform for the summer league thingie is?

2005-06-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's ORANGE! bright, neon orange. Which put me in a good mood even though we had to drive like 45 min. and we lost. BUT, I PLAYED! I didn't think that I would play much, cuz this is the thing with all the crazy- good Navy team people, but i played more than a half! I was so excited!

And guess what? Three airplane trips (Durham to Toronto, Toronto to Missoula, and Missoula to Durham) costs $681. Quite a deal, I'd say, considering one could buy 1 expensive flight for about that.
Eww this Nature Valley bar is tasteless. Maybe it's because my mouth and toungue are burnt from the hot chai i had at Francesca's after seeing Pilobolis, which, by the way, was AMAZING! just... awesome.

And guess what? A six- legged puppy with two penises was found in Malaysia! Go here for details.

Anyway, I got home, showered, made my Father's Day present. Got on the computer. Fell into a stinking hole of bad-mood-iness.
So weird. I never had time before to have the luxury of sitting on my bad moods and letting them fester- I usually just worked or soccered them out. But recently I've been having all these weird moods, and biting off the heads of everyone around me. Maybe it's that honored summer tradition: who can have-the-most-fun-and-do-the-most-stuff-and-see-the-most-friends before the next year. Cuz i simply suck at that game.
Or maybe it's cuz Meg and Mad just got back from Bald Head together, JPO and JJ are at Emerald Pt. together, Sonja's going to Austria, Joe's going to Sweden, Max went to the beach, and we decided not to go to Italy. I have...
God, I just forgot what I was going to say. I just get sad, or mad, or depressed whenever tiny things happen, ditto with things cheering me up.
See, I actually have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm just some random teenager spilling shit over the internet, ranting on about nonsense without realizing that no one cares, not even she will care, given a month, a week, a few days. So what's the point?
The point must be to put myself in a good mood so I can enjoy going out to Sitar India for Father's Day tonight, I think. Yes, that must be it. See, now I know why people spaz out- their body says, "whoa, you're getting way too serious." What i need is a nice, big, spaz attack with somebody. Anyone game?

I miss the 4th year trip

2005-06-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

well, folks, I finally got around to getting those 4th year pics online!
(three cheers for Flickr! Hip hip hooray!)

so they are at...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/44503916@N00/

K so check them out!

Summer blues

2005-06-15T00:46:00.000-07:00

I hate summer.

I have this lingering feeling always clinging to me that there's so much important stuff to do that I'm not doing but can't for the life of me remember what, although I know it is not writing in my blog.

I haven't been doing much of anything. I went to the first ADF dance, which pretty much sucked. I cleaned up all the icons of my computer, fucked up iTunes, read a lot, slept a lot, etc.

BUT, weaving camp is approaching! We finished sanding and oiling the looms last week, and today we're going to buy wool. Although Max and Mad are both at the beach so it'll just be Kathryn, me, and my bitchy little *$%#@ sister. In case you haven't noticed, she just really pissed me off. AND while I was (sortof) patiently explaining to her why what she had done pissed me off, she just walked out the door................................

Speaking of which, she went to her voice lesson yesterday, right before I went. Have I mentioned this new annoyance yet? I don't think so...
Anyway, my MOTHER decided that she was sick of hearing Molly go around singing off-key all the time, and decided Molly was going for voice too. It wasn't even Molly's decision! So now, in addition to wriggling her way into my special thing, she's also starting way earlier and way better than me when I started. It's SUPPOSEDLY going to only last over the summer, but yea right. Like she's going to want to stop after a few lessons. We both do soccer, but I don't really mind that cuz she's only in rec. But with singing, she had effectively stolen it from me! Molly is taking it from the same person, using my books, and singing songs from Pocahontas, God help us all.

I just wish there was something really important that I was doing. I don't usually get too depressed like some people because I have soccer, always too busy to like, dwell on stuff. But now it's all coming crashing down. No that's too melodramatic. I just wish I had something to do.

Party Rant and Graduation

2005-06-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

Yea, um, I kinda lost my temper...
Sorry if I snapped at you at the party, and if I didnt, well, fuck you.

Kirsten was like freaking out, and I got SO angry. Does anybody know or care that secondhand smoke could send her to the hospital, or take months off her life, or kill her? I don't know that much about CF, but I know enough to get mad. Those assholes were just like, ummm whatever. So I guess I'm mad at:

Rebecca: for being to busy making out to host her own damn party to make sure her friend didn't go to the hospital

Ryan/Megan: because I thought they were too cool to do sumthing like that (I don't care about the rest of the assholes)

And myself: I guess Kirsten needed me but I hate that I felt guilty leaving the party and considered what people would think and stuff...

maybe I should back up and talk about graduation.
Ya'll know how in the yearbook, the page of "you know you're at CFS when..."? well one of the things is "...when graduation ceremony consists of sitting in silence with boxes of tissues."
Well, that totally covers it. I guess I can blame it on the fact that I have a bad cold, but the truth was that I was crying buckets. The mound of tissues that Dru, Maddy, and mostly me produced was overflowing. I cried most when all my buddies got their roses, and then when Leon turned on the song "forever young". That was the hardest part. Oh and when Mig had me turn around and threw her arms around me. And then I got hugs from the hot guys... heehee.
After kinda puttering around afterwards, we went to the pool... YEAH!
TampaxMax I love your crazy tan!!

Then I pulled an Aja at the party with my short jean skirt and preppy little shirt. It was really fun until I got mad.
Thanks for doing that, though Becca- I still love you...

Pics

2005-06-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, check out my random pictures. I was bored so I made my self a Flickr account. It's on my sidebar but if you're lazy like me, you can click here. Wait never mind it doesn't work. Just look at the sidebar under pictures!

See those who are going at the picnic!

Pee pee

2005-06-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

The reason I haven't been on the computer for a few days is directly related to pee, hence the title. See, a while back the sewage pipes had a little leakage problema and kinda dripped pee on the carpet in the down-downstairs. (Those familiar with the down-downstairs, kindly recall those pipes on the ceiling, you know, the ones painted like tree branches? Yeah. Right over my computer.) Being a maniac-ly busy family, we didn't get around to getting a carpet cleaner person over till now, when I complained one more time about the smell (it actually wasnt that gross, it just had an odd smell.) However, getting a super carpet clean up job means that everything on the floor had to get off. Again, everyone familiar with the down-downstairs will remember what a disaster zone it is. So, we spent a billion hours cleaning everything off the floor, unpacking my computer, desk, etc., like EVERYTHING. What a wonderful activity to be doing when you are sick as a... sick as a... weasel?
Anyway, now the smell is gone, and the down-downstairs is SUPER-CLEAN- not neccesarily carpetwise, but everything is picked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A miraccle:
I rest my case.
So that is my wonderful fabby-fab life, folks.
Oh, and I went shopping.

Puking

2005-06-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

My throat hurts, my nose is all snotty, my stomach is nauseated, and I hate puking. It's funny, I'd rather have any kind of physical pain then throw up. Unfortunatly for me, that isn't an option.
To pass the time and get out of cleaning up, I'll list the synonyms for vomit. Sony, remember the great time we had thinking up all these? Did we ever look of a thesaurus? And I remember grossing your mom out in the car.

throw up
vomit
toss the cookies
ride the porcelain bus
puke
retch
upchuck
hurl
barf
regurgitate
spew
*praying to the porcelain god* (thank you, Joe)

was that all? I can't remember any more. Ahh, good old days.
I wanted to do the marbling paper thing at school, too. I never got to make a good one. Stupid people. Now I have to study for Spanish cuz I never got around to taking the test... grrr. I hate it.

SEX

2005-06-02T15:57:00.000-07:00

Haha I bet you're dying to know what I have to say about sex now!

I hate the end of school, everything is so messed up. Messed-freaking-up. Or maybe it's just me changing, but it's like half summer and people are either walking around in a half-sleeping trance waiting for school to end, or freaking out cuz of stuff they haven't done yet or wish they should have, or people holding on to the last shreds of school not wanting it to end. I'm just not really thinking about it- it'll end when it ends. But that has put me in a nervous/sad-but-not-really-depressed/elated/ahhh what am I going to do in my spare time/ahh next year/ahhh SLEEP mood. The latter is encouraged by my explo Dreams, in which I sleep half the time anyway so spend most of it in a sort of stupor.
I have discovered a new love of embroidery (at least my version of it) and so I just sew away while Nancy is just talking. This is the class:
Samantha- teacher's pet-ing and asking for book titles to read out of class, etc. always the first one on a project
Maxine- buddying w/ me and talking about sex with David
David- hanging on to Max, looking at naked people in the dream books
Firsty boys- on the computer the whole time and making annoying comments and being really immature
Spencie- not picking up on social hints and being annoying
Austin- staying out of everyone's way
Spencer and Ryan- off in their own corner, offering weird/annoying/hysterical comments occaisonally

Whatever.

Unfortunatly, I have no miracle insights on the subject of sex, contrary to the title of this entry. It's just annoying the crap out of me.
And that's all, folks.

Until later,

Anna Ruth :)

Decisions

2005-05-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

The recital went OK- I was really nervous and my legs and voice got really shaky and stuff and I swallowed some of the first song, but the next one was pretty good. Sadie did really well, grrrrr. I was talking to someone next to me, and I was like:
"I know her, she goes to my school."
and then because everyone was like doting on her, I was like,
"She's really annoying."
and then I felt really bad.

But she is annoying.

Anyway, I got home and shmoozed around till dinner, where I was faced with yet more soccer decisions. Although I missed tryouts, Pete called to say I was on the team.
He said that I was in the bubble between Navy and White, although Navy went premiere and White is still 2nd division. That's two levels apart. Or, providing I make the team, I could join the Strikers classic team, which went first division, as a sort of pathway to Navy. Also, it depends on how well I play with the Navy players and thier coach during the summer thing, Super Y League. Where everyone is amazingly good and really scary. I don't want to do it because I am scared. Plus Navy is REALLY GOOD. And I don't know if I want to play on a premiere team anyway, cuz that's like only a step down from state select, the best-in-the-state team(s) that play other states. I think (I'm pretty sure). SO therefore it's cutthroat and means my whole life dedication (an exaggeration but not by a lot) and I will have even less time for friends, school, and voice. Stupid stupid decisions. I hate them.

But I'm happy he thinks I'm that good.

Recital

2005-05-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I’m back from Bald Head, covered in mosquito bites and I have to pee. It was actually really fun, biking everywhere even though we only swam twice and it was freezing! Dru and I had lotsa fun, shouting in British accents while biking until the annoying third years got annoyed and we got tired of it. (Righto, chap?)
The bus got back late and I was freaking out cuz I was light for my recital rehearsal, but it ended up ok. I was only gone a freaking week, but already drama, I’m way out of the loop!
Catherine Alderman was praising me up and down afterwards (in front of Sadie who was after me) about how good I’d gotten and how much I’d improved over the last year, and it made me really happy because she’s not one of those people who holds your hand all the time. And Sadie came in and heard my last song, which made me really nervous, but then I got even more nervous because I knew I was nervous and how am I going to feel tomorrow?!?!? Last recital was at her house with just the kids and it was really cool, but this time, it’s at the library big room thingie with a stage and two stairs and a pianist and everything and I have to bow and everyone will be there with their parents and maybe their friends, I dunno, but omfg!
Ok calm down.
Crap.
Anyway, I’m so freaking nervous this SUCKS. Especially since I haven’t practiced this week at the beach. Maybe next year I’ll invite some friends like I’m supposed to. It would make me a lot nervous-er though. But then you all can stop bugging me to sing for you!

Upper School

2005-05-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

Holy freaking shit, I definatly just really let it sink in that I am going to Upper School next year. I mostly finished my classes sign up just now, and it hit me that this academic year is OVER! Wow. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

4th year trip

2005-05-21T12:34:00.000-07:00

1: rafting

Like everyone else, I must post about how much the 4th year trip rocked. Actually, the only fun part was the rafting and the bus rides. I wasn’t in the same raft as my groupie, so I was sad even though my soul mates (Jeramie and Dru) were in my raft. We sucked; Ryan fell out twice, Henry once, and Dru once. Plus our guide hated us! And I was in the front and I was messing up but Dru was being perfect and matching her strokes like perfect and I was jealous! Then we had the grossest dinner ever, and went to see Star Wars.

2: Star Wars

It sucked.
It made me really sad, even though I didn’t watch Aniken or whatever his name is burn up cuz it was gross even though max said it was the best part. Ben kept leaning over and ruining the Padme scenes by going “babyyyyyyyyy”. On the way there, I was in a weird mood and I was humming and singing quietly for like ten minutes and finally Morrah’s like, ‘Hey, I know that song!’ And Henry’s like, ‘Its Ok, you sound good.’
And I had a little freak out cuz I didn’t know they were listening. But we were mostly there anyway. Henry sang “American Pie” it was the greatest ever!

3: ropes course

Then the ropes course sucked ass, we waited around for like 5 hours, and only did it once each. And you had to be careful where you looked cuz all the guys were wearing harnesses at some point and it was so gross! And then Jim… urg never mind.The bus back was really nice (I’m so friggin glad I wasn’t on the other bus). We played Wicked Words, and then I fell asleep for like an hour. When I woke up, Jordan was telling riddles and we had to figure them out by asking him questions. It was so fun! Then Jeramie fell asleep on me (I think she was asleep) and it was really sweet but it would have worked a lot better if I had had bigger boobs.

4: dance

I went to Julie's before the dance, with our groupie. I was in such a weird mood, what with Max telling us about her little explorations with Joe. I was really happy for her, then I was jealous, then I was upset for being jealous, and then I was happy again. Anyway, the dance rocked my socks off! the third years are so much better at dances then we could ever be even if we tried, it was crazy. That was the first time I've ever had so much fun at a dance. Samantha taught me the polka (OMGOMGOMG) which made my day right there, and then I Ryan-danced with Ryan, and Samantha and I Dorothy danced (wiz of oz) and I just had a great time.
See, I never learned how to dance because I never spent time in front of the mirror teaching myself like everyone else. SO I never knew 'how to dance'. Dances were hell previously, but this time, it just clicked, and I moved to the music. WHo knows whether I looked good or not, but the best part was that I didnt care! It was AMAZING! Except then Kirsten and Morrah made me sad because they were sad but I polka-ed with them and helped (I hope)! It was so sad at the end, it made me really moody.

5: Grace's

It was freezing cold and raining, and me, Momo, and Georgia all huddled together to keep warm in the car. We all changed into our pjs and got warm, though. THen I watched Grace and Ben's IM for like ages (It was actually really funny) while Dru made pizza. We were all cuddled on the couch and she was bustling around cooking the pizza, it was really funny.
In order not to group off, we all fit into grace's room. I was on a twin bed with Grace and Georgia, and we had to sort of spoon to make room. It was really fun though, especially when Rebecca was snoring really loudly.
Grace's dad made yumyum pancakes, and then my mom took Dru, Juliette, and Julie home.

6: The End.

It makes me so sad thinking of everything that happened, because it’s all over now. But i'm going to Bald Head next week, so when that's over I can cry. But I'd rather get it all out at once, so I'll wait till then to be sad.

Australia

2005-05-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

I know I'm being obsessive, but Toni gave me back my Australia journals yesterday, and then I was watching my iMovie with those pictures from Australia, and I'm listening to music from Australia now, and I'm all sad because I miss it so much! I know that sounds really stupid, but it was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to much, and I'd give just about anything to be able to go back. It was just...spectacular. I keep thinking of the randomest moments, not like when we were hiking or standing on a mountain looking 1000 feet down or snorkeling in the coral reef with the rainbow fish. Like when I was sitting on the college campus, looking at all the stands lined up outside and hearing all the college kids' accents from all over Australia, and just feeling the joy. Or when we were at the Ningaloo reef and making a sand shark from the water to the dunes, and meeting the guy with the metal detector, who's employment is to look for gold in the desert, and he's found 5 dollars worth of coins in the sand so far. It was peculiar so we went around to watch, and talked to him, and when he found a Chinese coin that was reasonably valuable, and he gave it to us. Which reminds me of how easy-going everyone was, like when we ordered a croissant and the store person was like, well we're about to close and we have an extra croissant so you can have it, or when the folks in Canarvon recognized us when we came back and heaped us with free goods, or just friendly folks going out of their way. I mean, you would never ever have that happen in America, except in the most remote corners.
And how, when the exotic-ness catches up, you realize you're halfway across the world on a different continent, twelve hours ahead of your friends. Or seeing all the animals however trivial, and how excited you were when you counted the 100th kangaroo and thought of how amused the Australians were when you got so excited about a kangaroo.
And now I remember the "sacred site" signs at Uluru, or Ayers Rock...
omg I really need to stop...
I'm sorry Ben, I still owe you those reptile museum pictures-

I'm a loser

2005-05-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

Wow there's way to many exlamation points in that entry. I'm such a spaz. I was, like, hypering out at the soccer party...musta been all that sugar.

Yay soccer party!

2005-05-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

The soccer party today was almost as fun as the one we had when it was a half day! Dylan even turned on the sprinklers for a little! But it wasnt all girls so it lacked the certain umph of where one can parade about in a revealing bikini and not care.
OMG my life's dream is to go skinny dipping at midnight with a bunch of friends...doesnt that sound amazing?!?! (Right max?) My other life's dream is to own a pair of home-tiedyed underwear, but thats another story...
Anyway, we had cake and talked sentimentally about how much we loved each other, the team, Dylan, etc. and had cake!! After a good bit of running around and kicking the ball with our (my) bare feet.
I love frisbee-ing! It was SO fun. I hate how Ben can throw such a sweet throw really far, he's like a frisbee-ing genius! I hung out with Jeramie and Dru and juggled cuz Max was hanging all over Joe and Momo was with her. But it was great!
We were talking about our plans and stuff, and I think it would be REALLY cool to all get together, like all the fourth year girls (if we included the guys, the girls would clique off again and show off and stuff). We might do that before the dance, but I dunno. We'll see. If not, I want everyone to party at my house at the end of the year, OK guys?
Time to work on my research paper....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Research Paper

2005-05-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

OMFG!!!!! Stupid stupid stupid research paper. this is my day:
wake up, have breakfast
work on my research paper until 1
sing with Daddy's group for an hour or so
work on my paper
mow the yard
work on my paper
I'll eat dinner, and then work on my paper some more after this

It's 7:25, which means ive been working on it for...about eight hours today!!!!!!!!! Am I looking forward to high school! and I've only got five pages typed, and i'm freaking out about the citation thing...wait, is it supposed to be doublespaced? Oh SHIT...

Crybabies and Dinner (yet more soccer)

2005-05-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, the CFS soccer team freaking lost to Cary Christian, no less. They were being really annoying. I should have, like, fell to my knees after a good cross, and gone “thank you, Jesus!” They probably would have been so shocked they couldn’t play. And people were crying and stuff (thank goodness I didn’t ride the bus home). To tell the truth, I was like yea I’m pissed but I’m not going to flood the place- it was wet enough from yesterday’s thunderstorm. (Witty, eh? heehee) I was more upset when we played Triangle Day and tied, to tell the truth. Anyway, there was a ton of people there- it was pretty cool considering that it was our last game. All boys. A coincidence? I think not. It really freaks girls when guys watch them play and talk about them, like we do with guys. After the game, max and me went out to dinner (conspicuously un-sobbing-our-hearts-out). It was really yummy!

I’M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO CANADA! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE SUMMER IS OVER!

Speaking of summer being over, and the exploratorium front, all is well. I had a slight (NOT) clash of schedules, with my Island Writing Retreat/Bald Head Party the same week as TFC tryouts (AHHHHHHHH!!!!). So we talk to Pete and he said I didn’t have to tryout, I’m ON! Which I’m kinda suspicious of considering how much I suck compared to everyone else. ( If you don’t believe me, you’ll have to come to one of my games.) I’m so excited!!!!! Oh, and it would be awesomely cool if Jeramie or Dru joined my team! Right? Uh huh. You’re awesome! (Max, I know how u feel about that.)

And my third entry featuring exclusively…SOCCER! You must be so bored! I’m sorry but my life revolves around it so that’s all I can talk about.

Oh, a tidbit of news. I’m in the same category as Sadie, which means that we have our recital together. AHHHHHHHHH I HATE THAT GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least I don’t feel totally sucky, cuz Sadie is the youngest student, and the group is mostly young high schoolers. So I don’t suck (sort of). And please, PLEASE don’t ask me to sing for you, because I hate it and I WON'T! Because. I will when I’m really good, OK? Or you can come to Molly’s bat mitzvah! (I’m so excited about that, even though it’s in like two years!

omg I'm turning into Rebecca and leaving super-long thingies that no one bothers to read (at least I don't have the patience for it). I still love you Rebecca!

Oy this title is totally irrelavant

2005-05-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

The other reason for a blog is that I can blabber and not waste anyone’s time. For example, I kinda went on a rant in an email, and didn't really mean to like, waste their time. This is what I wrote:

…it really seems that this is the make it or break it year for our grade...ALL the spirit ppl quit, so now i think its only me max and colin that “made it” and play club... although i rlly dont think ive made it, i suck i cant do anything right at "training"
although i felt like that (about practice and my team) about the Cyclones at first and they were the best thing that happened to me, i certainly would have broke it if not for them. I mean, i scored every other game it was crazy what they brought out in me. I loved them so much, when we were going to be on TV, i missed the first day for the Cyclones annual sleepover
i think i have the commitment for classic but not the skill... he said when Pete Sadin asked me to join he wanted me for my "athletisism". i was kinda miffed cuz i had just come from cyclones, but i have NOTHING compared to the other ppl. at least they arent all bitchy. I do have the commitment, i mean i keep in shape like a racehorse, no one else in this school can imagine running 4 miles in addition to 3 practices a week, but i dunno. I guess soccer is all about knowing someone is always better than u, but it sux. and i guess its kind of a relief not being a starter, but that worries me that i dont care so much. A few years ago, i was a star. at the end of the game when we were slapping hands the coaches used to come up to me and say "you did great, ur awesome" etc. and i was bitter about not getting that attention but then i told myself, 'what are you? how can you want to get all the attention when other people worked their asses off? youre jealous cuz they are better then u!' and thats when i started really pushing. and now im in classic soccer, and i love being with ppl that love the game, but its EXPENSIVE, i dont want to be making a mistake with my commitment level and stuff. And i guess what i want is to get a scholorship to college and say, "there that wasnt all thrown away!" but other people dream of going to the olympics or sumthing. i cant deal under pressure i get scared of the ball.
im really sorry for ranting, ive talked to my parents and stuff, but my dad doesnt think classic is a good idea, and ive told everything to my mom, i talk to her about everything. well not really. its hard to start a conversation about on the edge stuff but once the converstaion is started it all comes out. and my friends are like 'stop being a perfectionist ur amazing, ur great stop worrying, look at me...' and then they go all sorry for themselves. and they werent on cyclones, don’t understand how i could be best friends with anyone of them. it didnt matter if we lost, i didnt hear one person yell at another the ENTIRE SEASON. they treated me like a best friend even tho i was a year younger then them, and if i see them around now they run up and give me a big hug. after just one half of a season…

Just for the record, I am a starter now (left back: isn’t that funny?) and practice is a lot better now that I’ve gotten to know the team and am comfortable enough to play my game, which probably earned me the spot. But it’s so sad, I replaced this girl, who is so sweet and nice, I don’t think she could hold a grudge- she talks and like hangs out with me sometimes, that’s how nice she is. But soccer season is mostly over now so I can rant about other stuff now…

OMG TRYOUTS WHAT IF I DON’T MAKE THE TEAM AHHHHHHHH SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, never mind! I’ve got a crazy shinguard tan.
Do you know how good it feels to takeyou’re your sweaty shinguards and socks and stick your wet legs out the window while in the car with the air rushing by? Omg it’s like heaven! (I’m so weird!) ;-D

Two lifetimes

2005-05-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

Marshall brought her entire baby book to the game yesterday, and when I finally arrived, I was met with, “Hey, I saw you as a baby!” and “Omg you had a curly afro when you were little” etc. etc. Marshall kinda smiled and went back to putting her goalie stuff on.

See, Marshall and I were best friends as babies and on, until we were like four or five. Then she moved for a year, and when she came back, we lost touch. I’d totally forgotten about her when 10 years later, she shows up on my soccer team. It’s awkward enough that we ignore each other, though it may just be the new-team syndrome for me where I don’t talk to anyone and my game doesn’t pick up until I’m comfortable enough at around the end of the season. Anyway, we’d kinda just pretended we didn’t know each other and don’t talk to each other until Thursday practice. The team was fooling around with Pete in between drill thingies and sharing childhood stories (“I got drunk and fell down the stairs” “My sister hit me with a shovel” “I was a weird kid…” etc.) I was just listening (as usual) and Pete was like, “what about you?” to me. Marshall and I kinda look at each other and she said, “I’ll bring in photos at the Saturday game.” And I’m like “I will too.” That was the first time we’d ever acknowledged our past, and really ever said anything to each other.

It’s so weird- I have two lifetimes. Before I came to CFS, and after. It’s not really connected to CFS, just that period in my life. Before, well, there’s not really a way to describe it. I was a tomboy whose only female friends were Sony and Alanna, and hung out with the boys and played pick up soccer every day at recess. I wore “boy’s” clothes, and ran around and had fun. There are no connections to my previous life- only Sonja, and we’re pretty content to just email and see each other ever so often. That is until Marshall showed up. It is the weirdest feeling, being with her, seeing her face in Margolis’ yearbook, knowing Max knew her from soccer a long time ago, and then yesterday seeing me and her at about two years old in her album, with our chubby baby cheeks and bellies. I brought a few pictures of her going away party, where she gave me the volcano from her cake.

At CFS, there are no connections to my other life. I just really noticed that. I think I like that.

By the way, isn't that the coolest thing ever that my team has a web page! (that's the real reason I joined the team : ) go to links then team page...