My karma ran over my dogma...

Monday, July 18, 2005

The Okeydokey hokey pokey

Highlights of our lovely family vacation:

I had a blast traipsing around on the beach, pretending that my underwear is really the bottoms to my bathing suit: see, I left the bottoms at Max’s, so I decided to just wear undies instead and no one will notice, RIGHT? The first pair was a pretty green, until it got wet, which promptly rendered it incredibly see through. Thank god for my body board, which served as a rather large loincloth type thing when I got out of the water. The next day I tried out my “pretty undies” you know, the vic.’s s. ones, black with the flower in the front that I'm sure most of you have seen? Anyway, they totally didn’t match but at least they weren’t see-through! The definite downside was that they were made to be undies, not bikini bottoms, so every time I jumped out of the water (like to go over a wave or just for fun), they would slide down against the force of the water… so I'm sure many innocent beachgoers got an unneeded glimpse of my butt crack…

Then there was the whole ‘sunset walk’ deal, which Mol and I spend running around like maniacs, chasing ghost crabs. Now any of you who has ever tried that, you know that they run like hell and zig and zag all the time, plus blend in almost perfectly to the sand and disappear into their little holey-things. But then Mo discovered that they got confused in our footsteps, so in addition to lurching about like drunk ppl, we slid like baseball players trying to catch up with the crab , or buddy-doo-da, as we called them (Oh look, what a cute buddy-doo-da! or, Hey, here’s a big buddy-doo-da!). It was great amazingly fun fun, and I was covered in sand from head to toe afterwards. But I did manage to catch a bunch of them, and they were very sweet buddy-doo-das.

After getting out of the surf, I watched Surfer Dude and his brother Boogie Boy for a while, in order to avoid the sight of my sister attempting to tan, rolling up her tankini, etc. But then I got bored and decided to dig a nice big hole to sit in. Molly helped me, and it ended up being about as tall as my boobs when I stood up in the bottom and about that wide. Of course, as soon as we finished it was time to go, so I decided to make some use of our labor by seeing if I could jump all the way over it. While my mom covered her eyes and my sister moaned about how I was ruining it, I leapt over completely, only skimming of a section of the wall. O joy! So I did it a bunch more. The hole was still there the next time we went to the beach!

And then of course there was the whole great experience of body boarding, or as we call it, boogie boarding. I polished up my skills on my faithful board that also doubles as a sled but still works. I'm definitely the best in the family if I do say so myself (heehee) but mo and mama are good to so we’d boogie board for hours. And life is really happy cuz my hair is short enough not to be a nuisance and in the way like before. YAY!

When we visited the hemp store, I bought a pot-flavored lollipop. Apparently, hemp and marijuana are VERY closely related, both under the species name ‘cannabis’. So in addition to some hemp and beads, I tasted my ‘weed juice, 100% legal, made with real cannabis’ pop. It tasted kinda funny but it was good!

During a sunset kayak, Mol and I gathered a posse of hermit crabs to explore the kayak while we (I) paddled. However, only two came out of their shells, the biggest and the smallest. Huge Hermie was named Snood, and Tiny Hermie was named Smooches (the rest we kerplunked). While watched the hermies crawl around, we took great pleasure in cracking yo mamma jokes:
Me: Shut yo mouth
Mo: Shut YO mouth
Me: Yo mamma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!
Mo: Yo mamma so fat, all the relatives are on her side!
Me: Yo daddy so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
Mo: Yo mamma so fat, when she wore a red dress everyone thought she was a fire truck!
Then we went to the midnight Harry Potter party but it kinda sucked. It woulda been really cool but it was just little(ish) kids.

The next day kayaking, we did a really long and hard one! We gathered together a family of hermies. Smooches was amazingly still there the next morning, but I think I mislaid her somewhere halfway there. In addition, we aquired: Wilma (aka Creamers), Freda (aka Frederick), Ingrid, and Callette. They were all very small and scuttly and would crawl around on your hand. I think they were all siblings, but I was never quite sure what Molly decided as to their relatedness… Anyway, there was also Guggy, Froogers, Tiny (the hugest one- it was humongo and hairy), Mugwumph, Big Bum (aka Big Bird, Big Bud), Googly, Prettyful, and a bajillion others! On the way back, Mol found the teeniest one ever, the size of my thumbnail! So I named it Smooches Jr. in loving memory of Smooches.
I decided I want a kayak for my 16th birthday instead of a car! (providing I can drive the family cars, that is!)

Then back from Ocracoke and on to Canada I go!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Darlin', darlin', stand... by me

Song stuck in my head- someone needs to burn me that song! (max?)

News flash: Maddy is now Madagascar! (like I am Rutabaga, or Rupert)

SO here is my lovely schedule regarding the events of the next month-ish:
Tomorrow I leave to go to the beach- good old Okey-dokey (Okracoke)
We arrive back at home late a week later and leave for Canada at 7 the next morning; when, let the record show, I will fly all by myself to Chicago and then Toronto!
After 10 days learning how to waterski and getting major wedgies when i fall, (or so I've heard), reading a million books, and playing the game of my heart, wicked words of course, I fly (again alone) to Montana where I spend a week camping and hiking near Missoula with my delightful family (ahem).
We reluctantly depart from the beautiful mountains (I hope) and fly back home, where I head out to my soccer team camp in Fayetteville for the weekend, and play soccer 24/7.
After returning home Sunday night, I will (hopefully) depart for Maddy's lakehouse for 3 or 4 days!
After that I'm home free (mostly) so call me when I get back from everything!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Chapter 24: In Which Hair is Cut

Mother and daughter snip off locks as onlookers gasp!





And last but not least, my personal favorite pic...

YAY! I'm ready for the beach!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

A feeling

Left out

Thanks for telling me.
You forgot?
Didn’t care.
That hurts.

I'm sorry! Puppy eyes.
Turn away.

Be careful.
You’re treading on thin ice.

Why didn’t you tell me?

What? Oh. Shrug.

Don’t push.

Oh, so it’s me now?
I know it’s my fault.
It always is.
If I had done that, or this…

Listen to me.
I know I'm always busy.
I know sometimes I put soccer, or sleep, or whatever else I’ve planned over time with you.
I know I'm arrogant, overly eager, annoying.

But still won’t you trust me, confide in me?

I get your message.
I'm not wanted.
I don’t want to hear more.

Face on the pillow.
God you freak, stop way overreacting and get the fuck over it!

But why, then does the doubt keep surfacing?
And do I really want to know?
No, don't answer.